If I had to surmise the past 2 years in a sentence, it would read:
Nothing has gone to plan and I could not be more thankful.
I’m an enneagram one, which, for those of you who don’t know the enneagram, means that my natural disposition is to be principled and purposeful. I’m quite Type A (especially when it comes to school) and I genuinely enjoy making schedules and organizing all my responsibilities between the pages of my planner. In short, I love a good plan.
Those of you who know me IRL know the paradox of my personality compared to the life I’ve lived (spoiler: it’s pretty huge). Although the enneagram one within me yearns to live according to the plan, I’ve found that more often than not, I’ve lived according to a changed plan, rather than a sustained plan.
At the end of 2018, my family and I had to return to Australia for an indefinite amount of time due to a personal situation. I was about to start my senior spring semester, and all I remember thinking was, “this wasn’t part of the plan”. Truthfully, this wasn’t anything crazy new for me (hello I literally moved across the world at age 12), but it did catapult me into a season in which I was stripped of all of my “guarantees” until my life had become something I never envisioned, let alone planned for. The best way I can describe this season is that God ripped out every plan I had made for myself from beneath me, and He caught me in His grace instead.
I love the picture David paints in Psalm 23:6 when he says, “Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life”. It’s this idea that God’s goodness and mercy actually pursue us, and when we stop and surrender to Christ, that is what catches us. His goodness and mercy.
The past two years have been the most beautiful and unexpected blessing. God continues to surprise me every single day, and when my head hits the pillow at night, I find myself completely in awe of His perfect plan, down to the most intricate detail.
If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that I never ever ever want to step outside of His will. Ever. I hold my own plans loosely and instead grip on to His promises.
So. All this to say, I’ve had a slight change of plans again. It’s nothing drastic at all– my family and I are just extending our time in Australia and (like so many others in NYC) taking this semester online.
This obviously isn’t ideal, but it is what we feel the Lord impressing in our spirits, and we know better than to ignore that.
Not my will, Lord, but thine be done.